Badass Bonerfart

I know it's blasphemy and my sudden enthusiasm is years behind the rest of the world, but I never really cared about Borderlands 2. The characters just didn't appeal to me very much and I'm not a fan of "artsy" visuals. Borderlands uses those thick, black outlines around everything, which I guess is supposed to give everything a comic kind of look, but that's just not my cup of tea. But the game can be played for free on Steam this weekend, so I gave it the benefit of the doubt and this was the exact moment where I felt that maybe this game isn't so bad:

What a fucking cool title song! Been playing it up and down all day long.
The game is pretty fun and I'd consider getting the GOTY-Edition, which is 75% off right now if there wasn't a certain funeral-sized hole in by bank account.

Claire and I have put a little over 8 hours into the free weekend trial thingie so far and we've had a lot of fun. Driving around Pandora in heavily-armed vehicles is fun, especially when you just run over random animals, raiders and just about anyone who can't get out of the way fast enough. The game has a certain Mad Max coolness about it, albeit a lot sillier. Helping to come up with a new name for the wild Bullymongs, only to watch them turn into Bonerfarts was hilarious and pretty unexpected.

The whole experience is far from perfect, though. We can't get LAN multiplayer to work AT ALL and having to play coop multiplayer through Steam, even though we're sitting in the exact same room, sharing the exact same network, isn't just annoying, but also comes with its fair share of interrupted sessions. "Connection lost." Boo!
And while every other game generates individual loot for each player, it's perfectly normal in Borderlands 2 to fight over certain epic weapons - finders keepers and all that.

There's a staggering amount of revolvers, automatic pistols, assault rifles, sniper rifles, guns with elemental effects that set enemies on fire or electrocute them, grenade launchers, triple-barrelled rifles, shotguns, guns, which explode and can be thrown like grenades (wtf?) and while they're all unique and interesting in their own way, most of them aren't really that satisfying to shoot.
I think we're about level 12 now and so far, most of the enemies feel like bullet sponges and the guns feel pretty weak. There's the occasional weapon, which kills baddies at a satisfying pace, but move on to a higher level quest, face tougher enemies and your once mighty weapon feels like another pea shooter.

We also had a few problems with the odd shitty side mission here and there. There's an insane amount of missions in the game, there is a ton of stuff to do and I can understand that some missions are better than others, but it's a bit weird when a quest points out a spawn location for a certain type of enemy you're supposed to kill, the tracker tells you to "kill 25" and there are only ten bad guys around. So you need drive all over the place to find more baddies or leave and re-enter the map to respawn them. It got worse when we had to shoot those baddies with a specific mission-related weapon, which didn't come with nearly enough ammo, so we had to run back and forth to stock up on bullets. This is probably less of a problem when you're in 4 player coop, but there were only two of us.

Most of these problems will probably go away at the higher levels when our characters become a bit more powerul. I assume grabbing some of the DLC content would help with these issues as well. More to do, more experience, better gear and all that. I'm not totally in love with it right now, but we're gonna keep on playing, because it's still a fun, interesting game and we might still go for the whole package in the long run. There's also this funny and strangely moving character trailer here:

I'M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN!

I'm really tempted by the Borderlands 2 GOTY edition and I'd buy it right now if I had the money. Ironically, I will have the money next week, which is exactly when the special offer ends and the price will go up from a tenner to 40 Quid again, so... yeah, I'm afraid that's just a little too much right now. Oh well, maybe I'll try a keystore or something.

Meanwhile, my "home office" is turning into the world's craziest zoo. Our beardies are getting a little bored in the bedroom, so I'm trying to take them out here and there and have them sit with me while I write my articles. Earl Grey needs lots of love, because he freaks the fuck out whenever somebody goes anywhere near him. He's fine when you pick him up, but other than that, he seems to be a nervous wreck. I've never seen a bearded dragon lose his shit the way he does.

Nomnom and Earl Grey.

Meanwhile, Hugo must have developed some sort of advanced reptile taste buds, because he's getting tired of the occasional raw meat I used to feed him now and then while preparing dinner. Locusts make up around 80% of his diet, but he does get the occasional slice of bacon, serrano ham or whatever tasty treats we have in the house, if only to get him out of my face when I'm preparing dinner.

You know, cook a bit of pasta, throw some mincemeat at the begging lizzard, that kind of thing. Except sometimes he shows up a little late and the meat is already fried and seasoned and... well, I let him try a little of that stuff and now he goes to sleep in his food bowl and he won't give it back.

It'sa his Dolmio-day

Sharing the house with an ever-hungry lizard and two hyperactive cats is a bit like living with a bunch of 3 year olds. Except, they always remain 3 years old and never grow up to become less demanding. On the plus side, they also don't grow into teenagers, who want you to drive them places and shit.

Commence pet battle in 3... 2...

If you're at least a little familiar with cats, then you'll be aware of "the rips". You know, those five to ten minutes a day, where your cat goes batshit insane, runs all over the place, climbs up the curtains and/or just destroys shit for no reason whatsoever, then goes back to sleep like nothing ever happened. Imagine that kind of shit with two cats. Imagine them terrorizing a carpet python, which will quickly grow into a 10+ ft monster, eager (and more than capable) to turn your cats into a quick snack. 

The kitty wrestling championship was only the beginning.

Now imagine all of that happening inside your "home office" every day.

Or in your kitchen.

This really makes me appreciate our royal python. They're certainly not the most spectacular kind of snake. In fact, they're the exact opposite of everything people assume and fear about reptiles.

They're quiet and they don't kill your cats.

I wonder how I would have reacted as a kid, had anyone ever told me I'd be living like this one day. I don't regret it, I'm having fun over here, but my days at the office are just a bit more surreal than they are for most people.

-Cat