Bitchghost Broke My Wrist

Yay! They're quoting me on the official German Star Trek Online website, because I'm important 'n' shit. Seriously though, I wrote a magazine preview for their new expansion, now there's a fun little quote and I'm happy. And about said expansion, well...

Duuuuuuuude. This stuff is so good, there's a whole lot of new quality content in there, tons upon tons of new upgrades and enhancements if you don't mind the grind (I don't, actually. YAAAAAAAAAAAYGRIND!1) and this stuff is actually making me want to watch Voyager. Which, of course, I'll regret 2-3 episodes later, but that's Voyager for ya. And there's so much cool stuff to see!

Alien walk-in vaginas

Action on the ground

Action in space

Fucking cats stealing goddamn chairs

Unrealistically beautiful spaaaace

Open world clusterfuckage

In other news, the Dolphin Emulator finally runs F Zero GX in full, glorious 1080p with all necessary bells and whistles attached and at a stable 60 FPS, so... yeah. I had this retarded idea where Claire and I create vehicles and race each other for the fastest lap times on time trials. We'd take turns at beating each other's records. I'd set a record, she'd go ahead and set a faster record, then it'd be my turn again and so forth. We'd beat each other by whole seconds at first and it would never take longer than maybe three or four attempts. By now, my longest session took about 14 consecutive hours and I beat the current record by about .002 seconds.

I think we've reached the point where you cannot possibly go any faster (Mute City Twist Road in under 60 seconds without snaking O_O) and those ghosts are becoming a major bitch to beat. It doesn't help that all those paranoid boost pads love to jump out of the way and all the walls are trying so hard to high-five you. And if you've clutched a controller for several hours, mashing that boost button like a madman, you'll know what it feels to be a 14 year old boy again. By the pain in your lower right arm.
Which is a popular, overused and kind of a weird joke. Do people really stop masturbating as excessively when they grow out of their teens? Did you? I don't think I did. I'm doing it all the time. Heck, I'm doing it right now. Didn't even notice. Maybe I'm still a teenager at heart.

Also, Final Fantasy 6 (3 to some of you). If you don't remember this tune, you are a maggot and nobody likes you:

The intro to this game is about five minutes in length and full of all that lengthy, confusing, slightly stupid RPG-babble you get in Final Fantasy games. I don't care how much you love Final Fantasy - you just can't deny that the writing is usually just one step away from being Matrix-levels of retarded. But then they played that tune and I was immediately drawn in. I was sold. You won't understand this if you're one of those cunts who started "gaming" with a Playstation 2 and obviously, I'm a lot better than you. Not just as a gamer, but as a person. As a human being. Or cow, where applicable.

And, as is the case with every popular game tune ever, there is an arseton of god-awful remixes on Youtube. And then I found this:

The retarded husky hat is an affront to god and all of his creations, but come on. Holy fuck. How good is this? There are so many shitty game music remixes out there, which score tons of likes from utter morons, who don't know any better. This tune is the tits. Absofuckinglutely amazing.

I need a towel.

-Cat