Do I hear wedding bells?

What a fantastic month it has been! Probably the busiest one of my career so far and now I can sit back and wait for the best part: Getting paid. Okay, all of the money will go into evening out our bank accounts and paying all our bills, but at least we'll enjoy financial security for a while now. And the best thing is: There's gonna be more where all that work (and money!) came from. For the past three or so years, the biggest part of my job went into print articles, not counting the occasional guest appearance in a podcast or the odd "hey, didn't you play that?" article for gaming websites run by friends. Tomorrow I'm gonna learn how to put stuff online on one of the bigger websites out there, which is all gonna be part of a regular job with regular pay. Just a little something on the side, on top of all the print stuff, but extra money is always welcome. I'm also getting into professional video editing some more, which is a massive pain in the ass compared to the youtube stuff I do for the fun of it, but I get paid for these things now, so... it's 2013 and knowing how to write is no longer good enough, plain and simple.

I need to come up with a concept that combines this blog and my youtube channel into one thing. Some of my more popular youtube videos get a few thousand hits, the blog is getting an increasing amount of frequent visitors, but most of my videos lack commentary and plain old blog text doesn't really cut it anymore nowadays. I should probably combine the whole thing a bit and benefit from my sexy voice and accent - that's what random podcast/youtube followers say about me, mind.
Anyhow. This year has been really good so far and it keeps getting better. Three major publishers want my stuff now, work keeps coming in regularly and on top of the upcoming new online side job, I might be looking at yet another regular thing involving Neverwinter. Not set in stone just yet, nothing might happen with that one at all, we'll see. For now, it's another potential small thing on the side.

The crazy thing about it all is how I don't mind working like a madman. And I'm the laziest fuck on the planet. I've avoided all yardwork (wait... UK... they call it gardening, right?) for as long as I've lived in this counry, up to a point where the neighbours couldn't take it anymore and removed the jungle from underneath our windows and started planting pumpkins and venus flytraps. Which is kinda fucked up, but I like it. I haven't been to the supermarket in over a year, because I can order all my shit online. In between social events, which I absolutely cannot avoid being invited to, I don't shave. At all. Okay, I think you get the idea.
But when it comes to my job, well... thanks to an incredibly tight schedule I had to test two new dungeons on some MMO last weekend, then finish a massive article over night, which took until 7 in the morning, but it didn't bother me one bit. I love doing this stuff.

It's not just about playing video games for money, though. It's about getting away with everything when you're good enough. When you have the balls. They gave me my own column in one of the magazines, where I can write about whatever the fuck I want and they give me money for it. So yeah, if you're anywhere near Germany and if you happen to find the upcoming new issue of buffed, be sure to read it. My column is entirely about wanking and silly porn names. I'm not making this up. I get money when I write about masturbation in a gaming magazine. Mind you, it's a fucking good article.

We're gonna be debt free this month. And there's plenty more work coming my way. Give us another month or two and we can finally tie the knot.
I know we've been engaged for over three years now, the whole thing has turned into a bit of a running gag, but we didn't want the whole thing to suck. Sure, we coulda pulled it off kinda low-budget and everything, but where's the fun in that?
Well. You know how it goes. Right now it looks like I'm finally getting somewhere, we're getting enough money to afford the roof above our heads and to eat things that didn't crawl out of cans. But the moment you make plans... you know. So, one baby step at a time. See where we're at in a few weeks. But if everything continues to work out the way it does right now, we'll be known as the Nicholsons. Yay!

Oh, one more thing. Skyrim. Duh, right?

Beautiful bewbs! Also, mutilation:

This fixes two things, which used to annoy me about Skyrim for a while now. 

You see, the default followers in Skyrim look like this:

I find this difficult to masturbate to. Not impossible, but difficult.

There are hundreds of community-generated overhaul and replacer mods to fix that problem, but they tend to go straight for the other extreme. Allow me to demonstrate:

This one, on the other hand...

I don't care if she's sexy. She's 15 and a whore.

Most, if not all attractive followers are clearly designed by male users, for male users. And lesbians, who don't want their girls to walk around like guys. I never really understood that. I mean, being lesbian means you're into girls, right? So what's with the male haircuts and outfits and the working out and... um, where were we? Oh yes, sexy followers.

Let me give you another example:

Not sure if rain or bukkake...

See what I mean? First of all, user-generated followers either look like children or they have the most complicated hairstyles imaginable. Sometimes both. They rarely wear more than a thong and a bra (if that), because they've spent all of their money on make-up and hair care products. 

"I can't fight a bear! Do you have any idea how long it took to get my hair to look like that?"

These characters are an assortment of porcellain dolls, hair models and underage hookers. One might argue that the characters in my "quickie" video aren't much better, but... BUT!

Normal. Fucking. Hair. They don't look like jailbait. And while there is absolutely no reason to show off so much skin, at least they're not running around in only their underwear or a fucking swimsuit. Because "sexy" means leaving a little something to the imagination, not blatantly flashing your goods like some horny bimbo.

As for the violence thing, well...

Look. I'm hitting some bandit with a massive, two-handed axe. Super sharp and deadly, the size of a truck and Mr. Bandit is protected by some furs and a leather strap across his chest. Would I cleave him in half like in that little video up there? Probably not. But that's still a lot more likely to happen than him just peacefully going to sleep with only a tiny scratch or two (which also have to be modded, because there are no visible injuries in Vanilla skyrim). Cutting off an arm here and there, making somebody's skull explode with a giant warhammer... yeah, I want that.

I'm happy. I like this game and all those fun mods. Elder Scrolls Online can go fuck itself.

-Cat