Bog Post

Being an adult means you google how stuff works. I had a chance to confirm that when the flush handle on our crapper broke off the other day. We happen to live in an ancient house with facilities as old as the Queen herself. Everything is a bit crude and broken and yucky and ultimately when you try to flush the shitter you'll end up breaking off the damn handle. So I had to replace it.

I could have called the landlord or a plumber. You pay rent, you get help when shit falls apart. But how hard can it be to replace a stupid little plastic grip on a toilet? So we went and got a new handle, looked at a how-to video on youtube and everything looked even easier than expected. Then I looked inside our cistern and was greeted by all kinds of fun, disgusting filth. Greenspan all over the damn thing, a thick crust of white, flakey shit on everything I touched, followed by a strong and immediate urge to get a tetanus shot.

Donttouchyourfacedonttouchyourfacedonttouchyourface...

Basically, replacing the handle is as simple as unscrewing that little white plastic nut, which keeps the broken handle in place, remove the screw that keeps it inside the pink plastic thingie and then you can just take it all out and put the new parts in. Look, if a guy who removes human shit from clogged up pipes for a living can understand that, then so can I. No offense to plumbers intended, the world would be so much worse without you guys.

But the nut was stuck. So much filth and grime and disgusting crap stuck in there, it just wouldn't move. Some smart people recommended drilling it open, which sounds like the easiest way around the problem - if you own a power drill. I don't. Another option would have been chiseling it open with a hammer and screwdriver. I considered that option, but look at how flimsy and fragile this shit is in the picture! So that was really something for the plan B department. Friends also suggested heating the plastic, which sounded incredibly stupid, but I poured some boiling water over the nut and what do you know - it came off relatively easily.

Removing the nut wasn't enough, though. There was a little plastic disc underneath the nut, completely fused to the whole thing by all sorts of muck, so I had to peel the damn thing off with a pair of pliers. And of course a thick layer of rust stopped me from finally pulling the whole damn thing out of the pink plastic bit.
Meanwhile, Claire was on the phone with her parents to tell them what was happening. "He said he's almost got it, but I don't think he can do it." Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence! You know how you're supposed to stand by your partner in a relationship, trust them, back them up? Yeah, no love for me here.

Another boiling water treatment softened up the plastic enough for me to pull the whole damn thing out. The metal underneath became super hot in the process and was incredibly fun to touch. Hey, I never said I was very good at this, but I got the fucking thing removed in the end. Replacing it really just took another minute, if that. So now we can flush the stupid toilet again. "I don't think he can do it." Yeah, thanks a lot.

On a happier note, I'm getting some interesting visitors over at my Warframe profile. As in, people from Digital Extremes, the guys who develop and publish the game. Of course this is most likely just some happy coincidence, but...

Ever since I've stepped into the wonderful world of self-employment, all my jobs have begun like this. Editors over at buffed.de checked out my profile back in the day and eventually offered me a job. Square checked out my profile on Xing and then I ended up writing mock reviews for them. I never actually had to apply for any of these jobs. People ask me first. I'm just fucking lucky that way.
Of course it would be idiotic to assume that DE hired new people through their forums, but man, I'd fucking write for those guys! Quests, lore, translations? Count me in! That'd be a dream job right there! :D
Look, I know, it's probably nothing, maybe they're just considering to ban me for toxic behaviour or something. But it's fun to see the devs in my profile.

On a slightly related note, I've created a little emblem to use ingame for our alliance of clans:

Goatbusters!

Claire and I have been running our little Double Dragon Dojo since the very beginning, so now we've started an alliance with the Germans and with Claire's mother. Now if DE finally went and approved our emblem already, I'd be so happy and all our alliance members could start using the new emblem.

I'd jump out of my skin!

Got another review and a whole lot of quest text to finish this week. Lots of work, good pay, life is good. I hope things will keep going this way for a while. The next catastrophic event is probably just around the corner.

-Cat