Err... Reptile Dysfunction

So, what's everyone's favourite pervy gamer couple been up to this weekend? I wouldn't know, never met them. But we've been gaming till the homecoming of farmyard animals of the bovine persuation... or something.

Our playthrough of the first Baldur's Gate + expansion is almost complete. Problem is, all our progress has now been jeopardized by the impending release of other games. First off, there's the expansion for Diablo 3, which comes out Monday night. Fortunately for us, the good folks at Blizzard have made sure there's only enough new content to warrant an extra 5 or so hours of extra play time. Now there's some value for money! It's not like the expansion costs twice as much as the original game by now or anything. *coughs*

TESO starts next Sunday. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to write more articles and columns for work. And I can't slack off on TESO, because someone's gonna have to write all those quality guides on how to play that shit. So I gotta level up at a decent pace or else I won't be able to contribute and the publisher's gonna be disappointed. Can't pull a Kevin Sorbo on that one.

You dipshit.

Been out with Hugo the other day and bumped into a fellow dog owner. Hugo walked down the street on his leash and the lady who walked her dog just stood and stared for a while. "'sup?"
I should have said that the folks at the pet shelter told us he's a Rottweiler or something. The reaction is always the same, hilariously nonsensical one. "Is that thing real?"
What am I supposed to say to that? "You're just stressed and we only exist in your imagination - quit your job, leave your family and travel the world while you still can!"
Or maybe, "Nope, he's inflatable."
Perhaps this, "Internet. Amazing what animatronics can do these days, huh?"

No matter how you look at it, asking if a huge animal, which quite obviously walks around, looks at you and flicks its tongue right in front of your nose is real, is simply a bit stupid. And perfectly natural, I suppose. I'd imagine the train of thoughs to be something among the line of, "Holy shit, is that a crocodile? No, it's too small for that. But it's definitely a lizard. Is it a gecko? I don't even know what geckos are, I only know chameleons and this is definitely not a chameleon." My guess is the brain isn't quite done processing by the time they form the question. Is that thing an alligator/gecko/lizard? All these options are stupid and embarassing and lacking anything substantial to fill the gap, the next best thing people come up with is "real", apparently. Is that thing real. As in, is that thing really whatever the fuck it is? What the hell is that? Which, by the way, is the winning question here, but most people are too confused to come up with it.

Unfortunately, we don't have the room to provide Hugo with a vivarium the size he deserves. He can climb, sleep, bask and eat inside the little cube he's got, but aside from that we just share the house with him. He'll leave and climb back into his tank as he pleases and spends the rest of his time outside with us. Everyone is happy with that. Well, except our cats, maybe, who don't trust him at all. Can't blame 'em.

-Cat