Yay 2013!

Where I'm from, New Year's Eve is kind of a big deal. Friends and/or family gather together, they all watch the silly countdown shows and there's always at least one asshole who wants to watch 'Dinner for one'. They show it every year, every public channel, always been that way for as long as I've been around. It's pretty funny, but once you've watched it well over 20 times (I'm well over 20 years old), it gets a bit stale. Ah well, tradition.

Around here, well... I think I may have heard a gentle 'poof', caused by Forever Alone Guy and his solitary bottle rocket. And the telly showed 15 minutes of fireworks in London. Then some guy with a seriously weird accent cracked jokes about Saturday Night Fever for 2 hours. He wasn't funny. At all. But thousands of people sat there in the audience, laughed, probably paid a handsome amount of money to see him. Makes me wonder about my line of work. He's boring, sports a weird accent, talks about stuff that has never been relevant to me in any way and compared to me, he's probably filthy rich.

Lousy telly and lack of fireworks aside, we had lots of fun. Worms Revolution. Dude! I never liked any of the modern, cartoony Worms games. Loved the pixellated DOS-based ones, but everything that came after... bleh. Didn't like the style, didn't like how the weapons went from funny and over the top to just plain stupid, but Revolution and its dynamic water, poison, class-based team setups and the cool 3D look just does it for me. We had a four player deathmatch, all of us sharing just one computer, which was awkward, but hysterically funny all the same. Good times!
A very early, incredibly noobish duel between the Bear and my grumpy self is being uploaded here.

There was no money in the bank account to pay our rent, so they offered us a 3000 Pounds credit. Weird shit. We're not gonna take that, of course, and rent will have to be paid a little late (for the first time, ever), but I like our high credit rating and everything. Debt is never a fun thing to have, but knowing there's at least some kind of temporary safety net isn't so bad. Of course, if you can't even pay your fucking bills, then paying off a damn credit ain't gonna work either, but... ya know, state of mind and all that.

Not everyone is having a good 2013 so far. At sometime around 4 in the morning we heard screaming and banging and then the upstairs neighbour was running through the corridor shouting, "Get away from me!" and then she disappeared again and a door slammed shut and apparently somebody was beating the crap out of her. We had a very similar situation about two years ago, where I phone the police and it took them about 15 minutes to show up, they let everyone get away and I had to spend the whole next day at the station so they could write down everything I heard. Didn't seem like the most attractive option at the time, but seeing as it was 4 in the morning and I wasn't wearing any pants... you don't perform heroic deeds with your cock out. Ever. It's the law. So I put some pants on and by the time I was out there to help, it was all over. She didn't want me to phone the police, wished me a happy new year and ran off. Weird shit. I like this neighbourhood and all, but every once in a while, you get to witness some crazy stuff around here.

WARNING: I'm about to talk about intercourse. If you're one of our relatives (or just prude), you'll want to skip the next two paragraphs. You've been warned. Everyone else, feel free to email me for links to our video channel. :P
Not a single fuck will be given this year. Literally. After the negative side effects caused by the implant, negative reactions to the fuckpatch have become so intense, they're no longer a tolerable method of contraception. And since we both don't like the jizzbags... well. Our roly-poly count has gone down from up to 5 times a day (don't look at me like that!) to zero. Maybe we're gonna get into Golf or something. Besides, it should only take another 20 years or so until this problem is gonna disappear the natural way. In theory, there's also weird crap like a vasectomy, buuuut... well, we don't really want children, but we don't wanna eliminate the possibility just yet. And you don't just cut off the baby juice. I mean... you know. It's all gonna look and feel the same, but nobody enjoys shooting blanks, right?

Like all people, we love to fuck. A lot. It has been a few months now since the last contraceptive patch. But we love each other more. This may sound cheesy and strangely out of character, but if you truly love somebody, then you'll be with them, no matter what. Even when they grow old and they lose their youthful looks, even when they get health issues and even when at some point, for some reason, you can no longer put it in there. Generally speaking, of course. We're in perfect health and the Bear still looks 12 years old. :P And I've always been ugly, so there's not really an issue. And we both still have a total of four hands to choose from, so there's plenty of variety. Haw!

January has shitloads of work and therefore shitloads of money in store for us. Can't wait! For both the work and the money. Don't get me wrong, I love sitting around on my fat, lazy ass, but in some crazy, masochistic way, having to write impossible articles with often impossible, inhumane deadlines is strangely thrilling. I hate it like any sane person would, but some small part of me also enjoys it. Somebody once said that, in order to make me write the really good stuff, all you have to do is put me under lots of pressure. And that's probably true. When I get too much time for my work, I usually end up slacking off. It's a bit like going back to school. Remember that paper you were supposed to finish over the course of two weeks and you're getting started the night before you're supposed to hand it all in? That's how I work. I'm not sure it's wise to admit that, but then again, there are rarely any complaints about the results and that's what really counts.

And with this year's first blog post out of the way, it's time to get back to regular everyday life. Have a shower, go buy some cat food, find some lame excuse to avoid cleaning the dishes for another month or two and play black ops till it's bedtime. Yay!

-Cat