Minibosc

Today has been our third day of bosc taming, if you can really call it that. I picked him up and while he wasn't exactly thrilled about it, there was absolutely no hissing, no biting and - most importantly - no shit. I hate when they do that.
I was fully expecting him to attack me again like he did on the first two days. Maybe he was tired or just too hot, but maybe we're just starting to make a little progress. It doesn't really work that quickly and easily, does it? I've read a lot of stuff about how bosc monitors can be very aggressive and hard to handle and a real bitch to tame, so I didn't think he'd be so calm after only two days, but once again, I probably shouldn't read too much into this. Besides, when people talk about those guys being so ferocious, they're likely referring to the fully-grown version when it had never been handled as a baby. I don't think I'd enjoy taming one of those anytime soon!

I'd love to finally add the damn pictures, but Claire's ancient mobile phone only sends them stamp-sized. Literally! I could scan a stamp with a booger on it and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I'm gonna bring our shitty old camera to the shop tomorrow to share some images with the world, but for the time being, you'll have to use google or your imagination. It's a lizard. Come on.

Interestingly enough, Claire is warming up to the little guy a lot. She's not into lizards much. Apparently, some reptile enthusiasts only like snakes and don't care about lizards and vice versa. I'm guessing most snakes are easier to handle once you get the hang of it. They have exactly one end that will hurt you if you fuck it up. And since they're not exactly selling anything venomous, getting the occasional bite isn't really a big deal. A lizard, on the other hand, has teeth, sharp claws, many of them are rather spiky and then there's that freaky tail whip. When I first heard about lizards attacking people with their tails, I thought it was ridiculous. My cats have tails. Dogs have tails. They're not very threatening. When a lizard whacks you with its tail, holy fuck, you're gonna feel it! Our tiny bosc did it. He's too small to seriously hurt anyone, but he already packs such a surprising punch and I really don't wanna be at the receiving end of that when he's all grown up!

Still gotta come up with a name, as well. I know, reptiles don't care for that kinda crap, they don't come running when you call them by their names and they're not gonna fetch the fucking stick. But it's a sign of affection, if you will. A pet thing. Something that makes him a family member (within reason) rather than something that you just own like some piece of furniture. My first idea was Hector, until I was reminded that the lizard on tv was already named Hector. Boo! Then I thought Hank.

Maybe it's just me, but... people named Hank always somehow look like a Hank, don't they? You know, a bit chunky, probably bald, maybe tattooed, little rough around the edges, that kinda thing. Maybe not the brightest star in the sky. Great buddy, though. You wouldn't wanna get on his bad side. Hank the lizard. I guess it would work. Or maybe Goliath, since he's gonna be so fucking huge. Or just Fred. Fred the Bosc. I think that's funny.
The thing with monitors is that you cannot really tell what gender they are unless they're male and it just pokes out at some point. They just do that sometimes. Air the wang a bit. We've all been there. I mean, what if Fred turns out to be a girl? Hm.

Since you can only spend so many hours torturing one small animal and I was in no particular hurry, I decided to help with the baby snakes. Freakiest thing I've seen for a while! Basically, they just pop out of their eggs and that's it. All done. Ready snake! Which makes sense, I suppose. I mean, what the heck are they supposed to do when they get outta there? Grow ears and maybe a pair of eyebrows? They're not really into that whole arms and legs thing, either. Maybe they don't really hatch as totally perfect, complete, whole animals, but they're just gimp little wyrmlings, who decide to remain that way for the rest of their lives. Nature's little underachievers.

They're like proper snakes. Just... tiny.

So I've filled a dozen bottlecaps with water and put them in tiny little plastic tubs with even tinier little snakes in them and what do you know, they actually started drinking. Yes, that's the whole fucking point, thank you very much, but unless you're an actual snake owner or one of those weirdos buying National Geographic, have you ever seen a baby snake drink? Fascinating stuff, really.

There's also one special needs customer. He was born without eyes. Tiny, pink snake, perfectly fit and healthy and everything, but no eyes. Not even any eyelids or sockets or anything, that whole part is just missing. We named him Earthworm Jim. I know the actual Earthworm Jim has eyes, but the comparison is still flattering, considering he's a pink, fleshy, worm-shaped object with a tiny hole for a mouth.
Oh well. More lizard-handling tomorrow. Let's see if he actually stays as cool as he did today. Next logical step would be putting him on my chest or something, moving him around a bit, rather than just picking him up and standing in front of the tank like some moron, waiting to see how much it takes for him to get annoyed with it.

-Cat