Dark Souls 3: Ashes of Ariandel is Weaksauce

The first of the two DLC expansions for Dark Souls 3 has been released on Monday. And it's pretty disappointing, from the Xbox One leakage shitshow to cheaters spreading the DLC weapons all over the PC version nearly a week before release to the DLC itself simply being a bit half-assed. It isn't terrible, but it's at the bottom of the list as far as Souls-DLC goes.

It looks absolutely stunning, though.

I don't even mind that the new area introduced in Ashes of Ariandel is yet another snowy, painted world. Yes, we had one of those in the original Dark Souls, but this can be forgiven if you follow the lore of the series. The game world and its inhabitants are in an endless cycle of death and rebirth. The strongest souls return time and again, sometimes almost exactly as they were in the previous cycle, sometimes drastically changed. Same goes for the world, itself. Lothric feels like it was built atop the ruins of Lordran. Bits and pieces of Anor Londo appear as the next cycle nears its end and everything starts to collapse. If you're okay with that, then you can hardly complain about getting sucked into yet another painting, much like it happened in the first Dark Souls.

What you can criticize, however, is when they're clearly out of ideas, not just rehashing the same old stuff from previous Souls games, but even from Dark Souls 3. Do we really need yet another shaky rope bridge, which can be destroyed and turned into a makeshift ladder? It was an exciting idea in the catacombs of Carthus, but it just feels lazy when you recycle that exact same mechanic in some DLC for the same game. And the recycling doesn't stop there.

You'll be fighting this guy a lot.

The new painted world looks incredible. Sure, we had ice and snow in the main game, but not like this. The snowy mountains look absolutely unlike any other area in the game. Frozen, glacial ravines full of giant, armor-clad enemies with javelins, axes and nasty flame attacks and earthquakes almost make dying fun. There's also a whole bunch of really annoying wolves, who will keep howling for reinforcements if you don't take them out fast enough. Tree monsters will burn you to pieces and grab and strangle you with their branches. Giant fly monsters infest you with maggots, which destroy you much faster than any status effect you've encountered in the main game, apart from curses. There's also a bunch of giant ice crabs I really could have done without.

The first major disappointment is the first boss, some nameless gravetender. I'm sure the lore nuts will find out what this guy is all about, but for now, there's nothing to him, no cutscene, no dialogue, he just drops one of the cool new weapons. What's more, the guy will summon a giant wolf to his side, which can become a problem if you don't kill him fast enough, forcing you to face him and his pet at the same time. The wolf is fun and all, he looks great and is well-animated, but in the end, he's utterly forgettable. Sure, he's a nod at Sif from the original Dark Souls, but the battle against Sif meant something! When we encounter Sif, he watches over the grave of Knight Artorias, who ultimately fell to the abyss. It's one of the most crucial, heart-wrenching and memorable moments in the entire game. Meanwhile, Ashes of Ariandel throws some replacement wolf at us, whilst giving us no (apparent) meaning or context, whatsoever. Again, I'm sure the community will figure out what this is all about and unravel every little bit of hidden lore behind this, but right now it feels cheap, half-assed and like they're just throwing it in there for nostalgia's sake. "Look, here's something to remind you of a battle you used to like!"

I'll take Sif over this asshole any day.

In all fairness, the DLC's main boss is pretty awesome. Sister Elfriede fights using a pair of scythes and she's such a strong nod towards Dark Souls' Priscilla, I could have sworn Elfriede had a dragon tail in the earlier trailers. She's a fairly challenging boss that comes with a whopping three phases, one of which pits you against two bosses at the same time. The whole fight may seem impossible at first, until you realize that Elfriede is yet another boss, who can be staggered, parried and backstabbed. Some may find that a bit cheap, but to me she's clearly the highlight of this DLC.

Another highlight lies within the new weapons, which include the boss' new twin scythes, a pair of claws which doesn't actually suck, a torch, which doubles as a mace and a rapier, which comes with a set of handy throwing-knives, as well as a handy gladiator-style sword  & shield combo. There's also a bunch of new miracles such as the frozen weapon enchantment if you enjoy applying the completely useless frostbite debuff. On top of that, there's a new PVP arena, which as of this moment has yet to be completely ruined by cheaters.

Arena matches range from duels with no estus to 4-6 people free for alls and 2vs2/3vs3 team battles with very limited estus. It never took me more than two or three minutes to get a match going even at Soul Level 250, I didn't encounter any of the usual cheats (flying, god-mode, insta-curse, etc.) and it's all good fun. I doubt the PC community will keep this thing alive any longer than they did with the arena in the original Dark Souls, though. Problems already exist, such as only three people spawning into what's supposed to be a 2vs2, which turns the match into a frustrating experience for everybody involved.

Ashes of Ariandel isn't terrible, but it's far from great. It took me about three hours to complete and frankly, I didn't expect it to take much longer, seeing as Dark Souls' Artorias of the Abyss wasn't exactly massive, either. It's okay value for 15 Euros, but you don't miss much if you skip this one, unless you're absolutely dying to fight in the arena. There are no rewards if you win there, either. There is really no reason to ever come back to the painted world once you've fought the bosses and collected all the new weapons and I didn't really enjoy the place enough to include it in future New Game+ sessions. And with people using cheatengine to just magically create the new DLC items out of thin air, there's not even any incentive to buy this thing for the new gear. People have been using the new items in pvp before the DLC was even released and so far, From Software is doing absolutely nothing to stop the blatant cheating, which is plaguing the PC version.