Cats Still Suck

My family had their first pet cat when I was about ten years old. I've had cats ever since and I'm starting to wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. If I could bring up the time and money for one, I'd go get myself a dog.
Our living room carpet is covered in unsightly vomit stains. Thanks, cats! One of the cats is super fucking greedy and hogs all the food. She'll beat up the other cat if she goes anywhere near the food bowls. Two bowls, same kind and amount of food in each of them. But fuck that, there's no peaceful feeding time unless we feed them in separate rooms. So the bigger cat goes and stuffs itself silly, then pukes it all back up five minutes after. Meanwhile, the other cat panicks all the time, scoffs down her food way too quickly and usually throws up whenever her sister does it.

The good news is that they're finally starting to run to the kitchen when they get sick. After 20something carpet cleaning sessions they must have picked up on my less than thrilled reaction whenever they throw up in the living room. The kitchen tiles are nice and easy to clean up, so they'll puke on the fucking rug. Every goddamn time. There's no more throwing up once the rug is all filthy again, but let one of them catch me get it out of the washing machine and they will throw up within the hour.

I have a little more time during the day now, what with me having no news job anymore, so I thought I'd sit down and pet the stupid cats a bit. You know, show 'em some love. So I sat on the sofa and both of them came running and I started petting them both with each hand and everything was great until one cat decided it was time to destroy the other cat. "I AM BECOME DEATH, DESTROYER OF WOOOOORLDS!" So the other cat ran for its life and cat number one decided that it was now time to sit on my face. "LOOK AT MY ASSHOLE, HUMAN! ALL OF IT!"

Yeah... no.

Oh well, they're five years old now, so... maybe another ten years until the problem solves itself? And then we'll have room for more reptiles. Yay!

The one redeeming quality of our cats is the fact they shit in a box. Which may not sound overly special, but our whole damn street is literally covered in shit, because people are dicks. I've seen dog owners who take a good look around when their dog takes a dump in the middle of the pavement, then leave it right there when they're convinced that nobody is looking. Or they pretend to pick up the crap, then do nothing when nobody watches them. What's weirder, there's always a disturbing amount of turd bags sitting on the fucking pavement. What the hell happened there? People pick up dog shit, then just throw the entire bag on the ground a few minutes later? Why did you pick it up in the first place?

Dogs aren't the problem - their asshole owners are. And you can be a complete asshole and cover your street in shit even when you don't own a dog. Apparently all it takes is a baby. Because yes, somebody decorated the street with shitty diapers. Plural.
A dog has to shit somewhere, it's not the dog's fault if you can't be bothered to clean up after it. But leaving (what I'm hoping is only) actual baby shit in the streets is douchebaggery on an entirely different level.

Warframe has released an overhaul for their posterboy frame, Excalibur. It's fun to see how rapidly this game is growing. It's even more fun when you consider how this game was never meant to be, got turned down time and again until Digital Extremes just did it all by themselves.

-Cat