Hell, Space, China, Heaven

Being a parent is hard. My son has found my youtube channel and subscribed to it. And there's a certain amount of swearing and (virtual) decapitation and dismemberment happening in many of my videos. I was about nine years old when I played Doom for the first time and I don't think that footage of Warframe or Space Marines will induce nightmares in kids. I also don't believe in censorship and I like to swear. And let's face it - no matter how many times we tell our kids not to cuss and swear like pirates, they're gonna do it among their friends, anyway. I know I did. And once you reach a certain age you just stop giving a fuck, so why make such a big deal out of it? Swearing is a big and important part of my job, it makes my column what it is and pays my bills, so I shouldn't be too worried when my kid hears me swearing about stuff on Youtube, right? Then again, I'm not sure his mother would agree with me here - or his teachers, for that matter. I never gave much of a fuck about these things (I've interviewed the lead producer of Star Trek Online about tribble urethras), but things change when you're supposed to be a role model. Swearing and not worrying about how people react to it works for me, but maybe it isn't such a good idea to pass on this kind of attitude. I find it fun and strangely liberating, but... hm, complicated stuff, really.

I'm beating tier 30 rifts in Diablo 3 now.

Custom build, no FotM, holy shotgun, stampede spam, or any of that crap everyone is using right now. I'm quite pleased with the success you can have on there even when you ignore the most popular builds and just do your own thing. Just a few days ago this would have put me into the European top 1000 list of crusaders, but now I'm about 3 levels behind and my dick just doesn't feel small enough to make me want to prove anything.

The thing is, I know I can dedicate another two or three days to grinding paragon-levels, optimizing enchantments and getting those extra levels out of my build to play among Europe's finest, but so what? You get nothing for it, they just keep on grinding and leveling on and on and on and the placement on the leaderboard would only exist for a few hours and my life isn't that sad and empty enough for that. I could do it if I wanted to, I'm already way ahead of all of my friends and that's good enough for me. I want Diablo 3 to be something I do for fun, not for life. I'm no longer 16 years old and I don't need to compare myself to random strangers on the internet to boost my ego. Or prevent it from deflating.

So, instead of spending another 20+ hours on Diablo this weekend, I've gone and watched some TV for women. Since, you know, people are oh so fucking crazy about Orange is the new Black. Things I've noticed during the first season of that show:
- There are about five minutes of orange prison wear. Tan is the new black. White is the new black. Maybe grey. There's no fucking orange.
- All men are evil, despicable assholes. All women, even murderers, are warm, caring and lovable if you give them a chance.
- "Based on a true story" where a sadistic (male, duh) prison guard threatens, molests and insults the inmates and (literally) pisses on their dinner. Try that in a real prison. I fucking dare you.
- Women know absolutely nothing about their vaginas.
- Lots of tits everywhere, but only if the actress is young, slim and attractive. Meth zombie hillbillies can go naked in flashback sequences where they're still pleasant to look at.

Criticism aside, the show is watchable and gives me something to do whilst waiting for more Vikings and Game of Thrones.
Regarding my interview with the lead dev guy on Star Trek Online, I'm actually pretty fucking thrilled they'd let me even talk to guys like that, get some fun new details on upcoming content and features, but I can't help but feel a little sad that it could have been Jeri Ryan instead. I've told the publisher that I was interested in previewing the new expansion and they offered interviews with some of the actors from Voyager, who have lent their voices to their respective characters in the game. So of course I was hoping to interview Seven of Nine.

In the end, it turned out none of the actors were really available and they might have baited me a bit. Of course it makes a lot more sense for the article to interview the guys who actually create the game, but man... an interview with Jeri Ryan would have been the coolest thing I've ever done in this job. Oh well, maybe next time. Apparently, Robert Picardo is a pretty funny guy, too. He's been with buffed before, if you want to check out the outtakes (20:58) and listen to him sing in German. That's one of those rare moments where I regret being a Freelancer, who doesn't actually get to sit in their editing office.

Oh well. A long, stressful day full of news posts (Blizzard's Titan has been declared dead just now and I'm still not sure if it really ever was a thing) and PR-chat comes to an end, there's some Chinese food on the table and the stupid cats are locked up in the kitchen, so we can eat in peace.
My cat has picked up the habit of bringing me all her toys. Plastic mice, toy balls, little plushie fish and frogs - she comes running with that stuff, sits in front of me with these items stuck in her face and meows her head off. And I have no idea what she wants from me. I thought maybe she wants to play fetch, but she doesn't seem too happy when I throw away whatever toy she brings me. Piling them up doesn't make her happy, either. She just meows in frustration. Maybe she just thinks I'm really shit at being a cat and I need to display my hunting and killing skills on her toys or something. Maybe she just likes to meow at me with toys stuck to her face. Who knows.

-Cat