Posting gaming-related news is part of my job. And writing about games is something that should be more on the funny side, right? Entertainment. I mean, I grew up reading gaming magazines full of comics and puns and all that sort of thing. So I posted an article about the impending pet buff on Diablo 3, saying that the life expectancy of these ingame pets on the higher difficulty levels is anout as slim as that of a chocolate cake in a camp for fat kids. Wich is fairly accurate, mind.
What followed was this wave of outrage, because how dare I make fun of poor (completely made-up) kids, who are trying so hard to fight their disease? Yes, a fat ass is now officially a disease and apparently you now deserve pity for stuffing your face with junk food until your ass grows its own zipcode.
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| You poor, misunderstood, precious little flower. |
I have never been slim in my life. I know the fat jokes, the insults and all the crap that goes with it, but I can look at the joke I made up there without starting to cry or feeling personally insulted. I don't feel like I'm suffering from some kind of disease, like I'm a victim. I'm fat because I like to eat. But people posted their life stories, talking about how it's their parents' fault they're fat, how their childhood sucked because they grew up as little fatties and apparently it's no longer okay in these day and age to joke about chocolate cake and fat kids. I didn't name and shame anyone, it was an innocent joke and people still lost their shit. All of it.
And to the surprise of absolutely no one, the same thing happened when I compared Ragnarok Online 2 to ebola in the comments section. I said if I had to choose between catching ebola and having to play Ragnarok, I'd need a few minutes to think. And people freaked out, because how dare I make fun of ebola, a disease, which kills more than 90% of all the people suffering from it?
Idiots. How the fuck am I making fun of ebola when I compare a shitty Korean MMO to that deadly disease? If anything, I'm making fun of the stupid game! I know I was being a bit harsh on ebola there when I put it on the same level as Ragnarok Online 2, but I stand by what I said.
I'll just stop having fun at work and only post dead-serious articles from now on. Maybe add a few bible quotes or talk about how vegans are better people.
Speaking of stupid internet shit I feel too old to put up with: dear leaders of MMO guilds - please stop making Teamspeak fucking mandatory! Yes, I can see how playing difficult, complex content becomes easier when you can communicate with your team mates via voice chat. I'd be an idiot to deny that. But when we're not actually playing together, stop trying to force me into your goddam voice chat!
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| I don't give a shit about anything you have to say. |
I actually enjoy listening to the ingame audio in my games. Sometimes I like to play loud music. Sometimes I like to sit and chat with my girlfriend, because I've moved out of my mother's basement and and I don't wanna sit on my ass blabbing into a fucking headset all night long while my partner is sitting in the exact same room. And sometimes I'm just not in the mood to listen to your personal life stories, about what happened to you in school or what the fuck ever is happening in your life. Just because you come to my blog to read about my stupid life for some inexplicable reason doesn't mean I give a crap about anything you have to say. And if I do, you can tell me in text chat.
Diablo 3, a game, which genuinely put me to sleep not too long ago, is now taking up most of my spare time these days. Torment VI no longer poses a challenge, so it's greater rifts from here. I'm uploading a happy fun casual T VI farming video on my youtube channel right now. The game is a lot of fun right now and I can't stop playing it, which means Borderlands, Divinity and all the rest are gonna have to wait a bit longer.
In other news, our pets are assholes. Well, most of them. Not this one:
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| Coolest snake I've ever known. |
The cats and the lizard are playing hide and seek in the living room all day. The lizard would hide under the sofa, wait for the cats to come close, then poke his head out. And sometimes he'll try to eat them.
It sounds like it's all fun and games, but it usually ends with one of the cats climbing up the curtains (and fucking them up in the process), the lizard disconnecting various game consoles and the tv box and when stuff gets too boring, my cat will go and steal random shit out of the trashcan or from one of the tables. Candy wrappers, hairbands, she'll steal whatever she can find. Apparently, it's a strange trait shared by many Birman cats.
The real fun time begins when I'm trying to cook dinner. Put anything in a pan that remotely resembles chicken, bacon or cheese and the hordes start invading. And the daily war around the food bowls is stressful enough as it is.
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| I wanna see Gordon Ramsey handle this shit. |
Pets are fun, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't get rid of ours no matter how much they get on my nuts at times. But if you ever consider starting your own home office or a personal zoo, go for one of the two, not both.
-Cat
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