The best blog in the universe: Reptile Adventures and Opping Co like the Pros

Yay! Another blog about animals! Our animals, not random weird ones like these:

Sad news first: Poor Chompy expired just a couple hours after I posted my previous entry. Have you ever heard somebody say how a loved one just "peacefully passed away in their sleep"? I can't tell how different animals are from humans when it comes to these things, but having found her dead after a stage where all she ever did was lie quietly and sleep, I find it hard to believe in peaceful death, let alone dying with dignity. I guess the only way one can look at it which isn't entirely depressing is that she's no longer suffering.

We buried her under a little tree at the edge of town, near where we buried the little red kitten that died a few hours after our cat gave birth to it. I'm not at all religious or spiritual, I don't really spend a lot of time believing in things. But I cared about our pet and I'd rather have a tree watching over her than wrap her in a plastic bag and chuck her in a bin. A friend of mine once said that energy never simply vanishes. It can be stored, transformed maybe, but it never just poofs and disappears. And that, in a way, all life could be considered some kind of energy. Suggesting that, you know, nobody is ever truly gone. That might be a bit of a naive, simplified way to look at it, but I like the thought. Life doesn't know justice or fairness. It feels nice to be a little naive sometimes, if only to cope with things. No worries, I'm not gonna go all weird and sentimental.

The whole thing is a bit fucked up. I haven't seen my old man in over three years, we rarely ever talk and I have zero contact with the rest of the family. When my friends back in and around Germany throw hints and want to come for a visit, I generally ignore them. I'm not much of a people person. But hand-feeding sick pets, caring for and cleaning up after them, finding them a peaceful spot when they pass away instead of throwing them away like they're some kind of broken toaster... yeah, I do that. I don't know what the fuck that says about me. Probably nothing nice.

Anyhow. Today I've gone and done something that will (rightfully) make some of you want to ask, "Why? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
I took home another bearded dragon.
I'm not trying to replace Chompy and I'm not going through lizards like Lisa Simpson goes through cats, don't worry. Chompy was my first ever reptile. She's the reason why we rescued Bakara and why we own Hugo. She is why Claire went from absolutely nothing but snakes to mother of dragons:

We genuinely cared about Chompy and we miss her dearly. So what's the deal with our new friend here?

First of all, Bakara was all alone in her tank now. She was with another beardie before she came to us and she has been with Chompy for as long as she lived here. Some beardies like to be left alone, they compete over food, the best basking spot or who is best at headbanging. They just like being dicks.
Then there's Bakara, who is as peaceful and social as it gets. We like keeping our pets near us and out of their tanks when we have the time, but when we both have to work and there's simply no time, it's nice when our beardies keep each other company.

The other reason is that I've always liked this unwanted little beardie up there. You see, every once in a while people bring animals to Claire's shop and it's always for one of two reasons: They no longer have the time to care for them or they split up with their partners and nobody wants to keep the pet. The latter excuse is cruel, the former is simply bullshit. We're talking about a pet, whose maintenance value is a fragment of any cat's or dog's. They eat fruit, salad, fucking dandelions which grow right outside your fucking house. You clean them up every two or three days, if that. They don't want to be walked, they don't bark or make noise. They don't ask you to throw a stick. They just sit there and demand a little food now and then. That's what, five minutes of effort a day? And you mean to tell me you don't have five minutes?

Anyhow. I don't remember exactly whether it was reason #1 or #2, but this adorable little creature was returned to the shop, along with a starving male beardie, who died a little while later. Those guys weren't looked after, they've been treated like crap, one of them had to die because his owners were a bunch of lazy, heartless, irresponsible shitheads. But the female made a full recovery. That was quite a few weeks ago now, back when Chompy was still alive and kicking. I got her out of the tank now and then when I visited Claire at work, because I've always liked her.
Beardies are fun, hyper little creatures when they're babies, but they tend to get a little slow and derpy as they grow up. Bakara has a hard time eating her lettuce without one of us helping her. She'll bite the air a good foot or two away from the food bowl, then it'll take her a minute or two to realise she's not really eating anything, so she makes a small step towards the food and tries again. It can easily take her a half hour to actually reach her bowl and headplant right into she salad to get the food she craves so much. She's as dumb as they come, even for a beardie, and I have never actually seen her catch a locust. She needs to be fed by hand when it comes to bugs and live food.
I know, she's a bit of an extreme example, but some of them just get a bit dumb and lazy.

Her new cage mate is the exact opposite. She's a skilled huntress, she's curious and always looking at what's going on and she's a very talented climber. Poor thing is so tiny, when I pick her up she just sits in my hand, holds on to my thumb (it's 4am right now, I'll update this blog with a picture after I had some sleep) and she's good to go. When I got her from the shop today I just picked her up and we walked home together. No box or anything.
Bakara didn't even react to her when we put her in the tank. Sure, she looked at her, but that's about it. She probably just thought, "Oh hey, Chompy is finally getting better." Okay, that's a bit sad and macabre, but at least there was no fighting, no head-bobbing, no nothing.
It's still strange to see them together. Bakara is one of the largest, chunkiest beardies I have ever seen and the new arrival isn't even half her size. Not remotely. I'll upload a video tomorrow, so you'll see what I'm talking about.

So, don't be too hard on me. When friends of mine lost a beloved pet, the very thought of getting a new one offended them and that's perfectly understandable. But Bakara doesn't have to be alone now and that little female, who was no longer welcome at her old home and who couldn't get anyone to buy her at the shop will be cared for and fed and looked after for as long as she lives. She can join the ranks of unwanted or slightly defective special needs beardies that we end up taking care of. ;)
Now all she needs is a name.

In other news, Hugo doesn't like Chicken McNuggets. We went to McDonald's today, sat outside and enjoyed the sun and I offered him some of that stuff (I actually peeled the damn nugget), but apparently our spoiled friend only likes real, proper chicken. Not some weird, pressed, shaped crap what was pre-chewed by a machine. Can't blame him. I wish I had such self-control when it comes to junk food.
You wouldn't believe the insane amounts of people stopping and staring, stroking him, asking questions or taking pictures. I like it. People around here can be incredibly friendly and open-minded.

Before I close this entry for the night, I need to bore you with one more cool feature I have just discovered in Dark Souls, a game you could probably only care less about if I finally stopped bringing it up: The Book of the Guilty.
As Claire and I are reaching the final stages of our coop-playthrough, we've been open to invasions from hostile players pretty much all the time. And we're getting invaders. Lots of them. And with one exception, where Claire got smashed to pudding by a giant before we had a chance to fight our potential assassin, we've beaten every single one of them. And here's the cool thing: When people are being dicks and invade and harass you and (try to) kill you, you may report their sin (the game actually calls it that) and they'll be named and shamed in aforementioned Book of the Guilty. The really interesting bit is this: Not only can you look up all those asshats who get a kick out of invading peaceful players instead of fighting people fair and square in the arena. You also get to see their gear and stats. And you wouldn't believe the amount of blatant cheaters in that book!

When you see level 1 players with every single attribute maxed out, you can't help but despise certain "gamers". It's one thing when you intentionally invade some random player's session to kill a guy, who is most likely not specced and geared for or even experienced in pvp. It's usually a pretty easy, cowardly victory. But it gets really sad when you have to max out every last one of your stats, give yourself godly items and then go after people who cannot fight back anyway. How great is it then, when there's a list with their gamer tag, their character names and all their fucked up attributes and stats, which show off just how cowardly and shit at this game they really are? Sure, if somebody is out into grief play and trolling, he won't really care about that sort of thing, but there is no more "benefit of the doubt", no bragging rights, no "OMFG look at me I'm killing everybody!1" on youtube. I like it. I think I actually prefer this to the usual anti-cheat garbage, which never really works, anyway. It gets twice as good when you encounter these bastards and beat them anyway. I'm having the time of my life here.