GTA Online: The Joy of Incompetence

Being stuck with a bunch of complete dipshits, who have zero clue on how to run a mission in GTA can be frustrating to the point or rage-quitting - or it can be the most fun you'll ever have online, if these dipshits happen to be your friends.
So I grabbed two of these friends, let's call them Peter and Felix, because those are their names, and started dicking around in Los Santos together. There were some small latency issues at first (I'm in the UK and they're, well, not), but one restart later the multiplayer experience was incredibly smooth and stable. Well... save for Peter's "oh hey, my teamviewer popped up" induced crashes, which weren't really related to the game.

One of my absolute favourite features is the insanely immersive first person view. We started our adventure with a fun SUV ride up a mountain for some parachuting. Which is fun, because one player can handle the driving, the guy next to him handles the radio and I get to sit in the back and throw grenades, because you have to pass the time with something, right?

"No, fuck you!"

I packed a sandwich and turned the bag into a cool mask later.

Parachuting is pretty fun. It got even better when I realized you could use a gun whilst floating around with one. Felix helped me test that.

"Hey, I think I can fire my pistol up here!"
-"Stop shooting me, asshole!"

We also ran a few races for shits and giggles and it turns out I'm pretty decent on a motorcycle, Felix is ridiculously good with just about anything that flies and Peter... um... well, he should really try and figure out why his teamviewer pops up all the time to crash his stupid game.
Things went horribly wrong when we tried to run a few missions. You know, shooty stuff.
You see, most missions provide your crew with a limited pool of lives. One of you dies, you use a team life to respawn. That usually works once, maybe twice, then your pool of lives is depleted and the next one to die remains dead until the mission ends - one way or another.

So we hopped in a car, drove to the mission and lost our team lives, because Peter decided to take a motorcycle. He also decided to speed face-first into traffic. So we went there with zero lives left. But that's okay, because we were supposed to kill a bunch of gangsters and retrieve a mission-critical package they held, which Felix decided to blow up with his RPG - mission failed.

Now I'd love to write about how we gave it a second try, went back there, killed all the bad guys and retrieved the package without blowing it to bits, but it got nuked. By a rocket launcher. For the second time in a row.

Pink beach buggy racing was fun, though! ♥

We got the hang of it and finished the mission in the end, so I have a great feeling about our first attempt at heists this weekend. I gifted a copy to Haggy, so there'll be four of us. I'm sure it would have been just as great to have Claire join us, but I could only afford one extra copy, and ultimately, the game went to the loved one with the bigger tits. I have a great feeling about this...

Do you ever have those moments where you laugh so hard you can't breathe and creep everyone out with weird zombie noises? GTA V is that good. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard at something so completely stupid. I'm hooked. I'm supposed to be working this weekend and I'm about to motherloving procrastinate like I'm back in school.

Pew! Pew! You can set people ablaze with a flare gun. They call that social warmth in Germany.

-Cat