My Wife, The Cold-Blooded Killer

The internet is an exceptionally annoying place today. Frontier Developments' fine space-sim Elite: Dangerous went live on Steam this week. The Steam version features no extra content or any features not present in the non-Steam version. But that didn't stop the forum community from complaining about it on 164 pages. These people backed the game on Kickstarter and received alpha and beta access, as well as a key for the retail version of Elite: Dangerous, so now they're demanding Steam keys on top of it. Again, the Steam-Version adds nothing extra, but apparently there's a principle involved or some shit, the customer is always right, so let's all lose our collective shit and complain.

Meanwhile, we can't have nice things on Pillars of Eternity, because that would be transmisogynistic. I'm all for tolerance and I'm pro LGBT, but... seriously? A silly little user-generated poem about a guy who couldn't get over the fact that his last girlfriend turned out to be a man is hideously offensive in 2015? And having it changed is somehow making the world a better place? I'm clearly getting too old to understand what the fuck is happening.

But at least there is justice. In Tamriel, anyway, thanks to ESO update 6. Also, Lion King:

Uploaded several hours ago in 1080p, still only shows in 360. Grrr!

Elder Scrolls Online's latest big update, which went live a couple weeks ago, allows people to steal, burgle and murder their way across Tamriel. Which sounds like a fun idea until you decide to visit a tavern with the family. We listened to the crappy bards for a while (Malukah is overrated and the male bard sounds like Randy Marsh from South Park) and then I dared Claire to steal a potato off some old lady's dinner plate. But Claire got caught and the old lady punched her in the face, then Claire punched back, then all the other patrons joined the brawl, then the bard got shot in the face and Claire had to flee from the city guard as they had placed a rather massive bounty on her head. Meanwhile, the bard had respawned, so Claire's mother shot her in the face again, murdered all the remaining patrons and finally got butchered by the guard. I just sat in the corner till everyone was dead, rose from my chair and took the potato like the smooth criminal I am. Good times.

-Cat