As far as Elder Scrolls games go, (The) Elder Scrolls Online isn't very good. In fact, while there are countless questionable articles and re-reviews blabbing about how recent updates have 'finally turned it into a proper Elder Scrolls game', I feel that much of the game has become a lot more annoying and less immersive over time. My favourite example being the Dark Brotherhood.
Remember how getting into the Dark Brotherhood worked in Skyrim? There was this mean old lady, who abused and mistreated the kids in an orphanage. Up to a point where one of the children tried to summon a member of the Dark Brotherhood to have her killed. You as the player can rid the orphanage of the old tyrant and in turn get the attention of the real, actual Dark Brotherhood. Here's what you do in ESO: Talk to some NPC in your questlog, then kill a random innocent NPC. Any NPC. For no reason. You'll immediately be invited into the Brotherhood without any trials or mind games (Skyrim gave you three abducted strangers and you had to kill the one 'guilty' person). In fact, they love you so much for pointlessly murdering a random NPC, you'll immediately receive the fabled Blade of Woe. Because fuck reason and logic.
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| Kill a completely random person. Get a legendary reward. Tamriel Unlimited. |
The reason I started the Dark Brotherhood questline is how the ingame cash shop claims you unlock awesome new abilities by joining these guys. Turns out that every single ability unlocked via the Dark Brotherhood revolves around killing helpless innocent NPCs, meaning the whole thing is utterly useless in non-Brotherhood quests or pvp. Which doesn't stop people from slaughtering the innocent, of course, resulting in some really bizarre bullshit.
One of my quests lead me to some orc who shares a house with a dozen or so servants. They undress and bathe with him, do chores around the house, all the cool shit that I was lead to believe I'd get if I married a girl. They're also unarmed, completely helpless and super attractive bait for all the douchebag players in the Dark Brotherhood. So I'm walking around that house, chatting with my quest NPC and around us there were six or so players constantly slaughtering the servants, again and again. They respawn after a minute or so, meaning the whole thing never stopped. Quest NPCs can't be killed, so he was fine. He also didn't react to the slaughter around him, so we were having this super serious conversation while players with names like xXbuttface69Xx were butchering everyone else in the house again and again. Hoo boy, now
this is how Elder Scrolls should feel, right?
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| Why can't there be more instanced solo content? |
I'm sorry, but I find it difficult to feel immersed when I'm fighting my way through a dungeon, which had allegedly remained hidden for a thousand years, when I have to queue up behind dipshipts like Thor von Sternenreiter (random German trying to roleplay an elf) and Leeck-M'ahrse (14), because we all need to kill the same dungeon boss, who respawns every minute or so. Sharing public dungeons, quest areas and bosses with a dozen people at a time isn't fun, it makes no sense and there's nothing 'Elder Scrolls' about it. And don't give me shit like, "so why are you playing an MMO if you hate putting up with other people?' WoW (and just about every other MMO) has dungeons, but I don't have to share them with uninvited players. What is this, fucking Ultima Online?
My one safe haven is the Maelstrom Arena, which lets me fight a bunch of really tricky bosses and get a bunch of powerful set items and awesome weapons without anyone messing with my experience. It's strictly solo, you don't see other people, nobody gets to kill all your NPCs and bosses, nobody loots the whole fucking place before you've even stepped inside. Why isn't there more content like that?
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| My character and a bunch of NPCs gathering for a funeral. A few moments later another player showed up and played the drums the entire time. Thanks! |
There's also the insanely dull, repetitive, formulaic quest design. Every other quest forces a stupid, binary choice on you. Kill NPC A so that NPC B may live? Or vice versa? Kill the main bad guy or let him live, because he's begging for it? Leave the quest item to the original quest NPC or NPC ex machina, who also wants it now? It never fucking matters, because none of your actions have any real consequences. It's not like SWTOR, where your decisions may kill a companion or change the way certain missions and cutscenes play out. The decisions in ESO are pointless, make zero difference and don't require you to think about them for even a second. Save the leader of the Fighters Guild or have her executed for treason? Doesn't fucking matter, you'll never see her again, no matter what you choose. Yaaaay.
The main reason I'm still playing this game, apart from work, lies in two features, which I don't even use or particularly enjoy in other MMOs. To me, ESO has the best crafting and PvP in any MMO today. I genuinely enjoy crafting shit on here. Most other games I don't even bother pick a crafting profession, because I just don't care enough.
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| I fucking love crafting on here! |
All the crafting on ESO is powerful and glorious. You can buy, loot or steal food, drinks, potions and enchantments, but none of them will ever be as strong as their player-made counterparts. I love nothing more than hand-crafting a full set of weapons and armor and picking exactly what extras and upgrades I want on my shit, be it crit bonuses, extra penetration (huehue), more experience for leveling and so on and so forth. Heck, I can pick up any old piece of gear I've looted somewhere and upgrade it all the way to legendary status if I have the skills and materials. ESO is one of the very few MMOs out there, which doesn't force me to raid or take part in content I don't like, just so I can get decent gear. There are raid-exclusive item sets and weapons, as there should be. But I can still fully customize and tailor-make powerful items from a massive selection of traits, set bonuses (and appearances!), allowing me to create item sets, which go perfectly with my preferred play style. Heck, I craft shit for friends and guild mates, because it's so much fun! And I hate my friends and guild mates!
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1. Craft weapons.
2. Use weapons to murder people.
3. Happiness. |
And then there's the beautiful large-scale pvp in Cyrodiil. I've always enjoyed that, but ultimately gave up on it when it got utterly broken. In the past, the servers would constantly lag out and make it impossible to do anything. Then they introduced champion points, causing people with low or no champion levels to get utterly eradicated by players who were capped for their points, which granted them massive bonuses to damage, resistances, critical hits and so forth.
Today, there's a pvp campaign where champion points are disabled, so it's all down to your gear and build of choice and personal skill. Well... if you run into another player by yourself, that is. For the most part, it's zerg on zerg action with dozens of people on both sides and I'm cool with that. I do occasionally get some really loooong load times during the peak hours, but I no longer get disconnected or kicked out like I used to a couple years ago.
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| It's even more fun when you get an addon, which lists your killing blows. |
There's just something about riding into battle with a large group of people on their battle-clad war horses, riding lizards, wolf mounts or whatever other crazy shit they choose as their preferred method of transportation. You ride towards an enemy fortress, then everybody dismounts, goes into stealth, sneaks up on their defenders. Ideally, you'll pull of an organized ranged offense with bows, spells and staves, take out their guys before they ever have a chance to fight back. Then everyone builds up their siege while the enemy team regroups inside the keep. Bomb the place to shit, murder everyone inside, get set items and tons of gold. Fucking awesome!
You see people around you turning into vampires and werewolves, folks reviving fallen team mates, people unpacking their extra powerful coldharbor ballistae they've been saving for the occasion and folks desperately repairing the battered gates and walls of the invaded keep. Everything you do is rewarded, so it doesn't matter whether you tear down walls or rebuild them, whether you kill enemy players or revive your friends.
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| Larger battles will result in FPS dips, but it's always playable. |
I enjoy playing as a one man army of sorts, bringing all the siege I can possibly carry. Pots of boiling oil to fry people with when one of our keeps is under attack, battering rams to breach enemy gates, catapults with bags of rotten meat to make large groups of enemy players miserable, tons of soul gems to revive ALL THE THINGS™. Some people are too stingy to spend any of their pvp currency on stuff, so they really just tag along and kill enemy players when they get the chance. That's cool, I'm not gonna tell you how to pvp. But I like it best when I get to have a big impact on how things are going for my side and the game rewards you with plenty of currency to make sure you can keep on buying siege and other shit if you deploy that stuff in the first place.
I made my way into the top 100 players last night. If you end a monthly pvp campaign and land a spot in the server's highest-ranking 2%, you'll get showered in gold and legendary items. I don't think I really have the time to keep my ranking, but at the end of the day, I'm mostly doing this because it's fun and not because I need any more legendary stuff. I've crafted and upgraded all the things I need, anyway.
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| My mount needs an eyepatch! Zenimax, please? |
I don't think I'll ever really care for this version of Tamriel. I don't like the quests very much, I don't enjoy being surrounded by other players all the damn time and none of the decisions on here ever matter. The Dark Brotherhood is a massive disappointment to me. Heck, even the housing is a complete joke when compared to much older games like Everquest 2, where I get to place statues, tapestries, posters and portraits everywhere to show people where I've been. And handy portals, useful crafting servants, interactive dining tables for friends and guild mates with food buffs and everything. On ESO I get to place potatoes, furniture and a ridiculously small amount of boring, pointless collectables. Boo!
But I enjoy crafting and pvp on here so much, it's basically what I do all day. And I keep wanting to come back for more. It's weird, because I always hated most of the PvP on games like WoW and even singleplayer games like Dragon Age: Inquisition were less fun to me, not better, because of their stupid crafting. Now if only it wasn't for these annoying pvp queues, which may take up to an hour during prime time. Ugh!
